This Is What We Do Now

Eat your heart out, Dave Grohl

2008-05-07T11:29:00.002-04:00

John Davis, former frontman of Superdrag, has a new solo album out, and it's quite excellent. If you like Superdrag, loud buzzsaw guitars and hooks by the boatload, "Arigato!" delivers in spades.

Additionally, it features "Lamentation vs. Laughter," arguably the best song Foo Fighters never wrote.

Top Albums of the 1990s

2008-04-24T16:03:00.011-04:00

As this has apparently turned into a music blog, here's a year-by-year rundown of my top ten albums for each year of the 1990s. As you can see, I clearly didn't start becoming obsessed with music until closer to the middle of the decade. I find it kind of incredible that I couldn't come up with 10 albums for the year 1998, but I guess I was so obsessed with "Phantom Planet is Missing" that I didn't bother to listen to too much else.

1999

10) Dr. Dre: The Chronic 2001
9) Muzzle: Actual Size
8) Fountains of Wayne: Utopia Parkway
7) Blink-182: Enema of the State
6) Stroke9: Nasty Little Thoughts
5) Lit: A Place in the Sun
4) Showoff
3) Eminem: The Slim Shady LP
2) Cherry Twister: At Home With Cherry Twister
1) Foo Fighters: There is Nothing Left to Lose

Definitely a strong year, highlighted by my personal favorite Foo Fighters album, "There Is Nothing Left to Lose." Yes, I know "The Colour and the Shape" is better, but that doesn't mean "Lose" can't be my favorite. Other highlights include Showoff's self-titled debut (of all the cookie-cutter pop-punk bands to emerge in the 1990s, these guys were actually quite good; it's a shame they didn't stick around longer. They actually recorded a never-officially-released second album, "Wish You Were Her," which is also excellent, and worth digging around for on the interwebs if you can find it), Eminem's debut, Lit's first record ("My Own Worst Enemy" was probably the best song of the year) and Stroke9's debut.

1998

8) Eve6
7) A Tribe Called Quest: The Love Movement
6) Home Grown: Act Your Age
5) Fastball: All the Pain Money Can Buy
4) Pernice Brothers: Overcome by Happiness
3) MxPx: Slowly Going the Way of the Buffalo
2) Marvelous3: Hey! Album
1) Phantom Planet: Phantom Planet is Missing

I listened the hell out of the top three on this list. As outrageously good as "Hey! Album" is, "Phantom Planet Is Missing" single-handedly turned me onto power-pop and I never looked back. It was basically the "Dookie" of 1998. Whereas Green Day's brilliant major label debut introduced me to a world of music I'd never known, "Is Missing" was essentially a graduation of sorts, having such a profound impact on me that it literally changed the way I listen to music.

I've written about it before, but I'll still never forget the first time I ever heard "So I Fall Again." I had never heard anything like it, and I still haven't to this day. Unfortunately it seems unlikely that Phantom Planet will ever go back to the pure, unadulterated pop goodness of their debut, but a boy can dream. Either way, were I to ever create a list of my top albums of all time, there's an excellent chance that "Is Missing" would be at the very top.

1997

10) NOFX: So Long and Thanks for all the Shoes
9) Apples in Stereo: Tone Soul Evolution
8) Everclear: So Much for the Afterglow
7) Green Day: Nimrod
6) Harvey Danger: Where Have all the Merrymakers Gone
5) Bracket: Novelty Forever
4) Goldfinger: Hang-Ups
3) Fig Dish: When Shoves Goes Back to Push
2) Kara’s Flowers: The Fourth World
1) Foo Fighters: The Colour and the Shape

Without doing any serious research, I would've guessed that 1998 or 1999 would've been the hardest top tens to pick, but '97 proved to be the most difficult. Surprisingly, a lot of quality music came out 11 years ago. In any other year, albums #2 and #3 could easily make cases for #1 status, but it's tough to edge out the Foo Fighters' seminal album. Still, the criminally underrated "The Fourth World" makes one wish Adam Levine & Co. would ditch Maroon 5's boring adult-contemporary and go back to the power-pop genius of Kara's Flowers.

1996

10) Reel Big Fish: Turn the Radio Off
9) A Tribe Called Quest: Beats, Rhymes & Life
8) Sublime
7) Muzzle: Betty Pick-Up
6) Fountains of Wayne
5) Nada Surf: High/Low
4) Stone Temple Pilots: Tiny Music
3) Goldfinger
2) MxPx: Life in General
1) Weezer: Pinkerton

An interesting mix of music on this list. Nothing really truly outstanding, although "Pinkerton" is obviously excellent. MxPx's classic "Life in General" really set the group apart from the pop-punk pack, especially since I was so heavily entrenched into the pop-punk scene at this point that I was practically buying everything that Fat Wreck Chords put out that year, not realizing that 99% of the bands were fucking terrible.

1995

6) Rancid: …And Out Come the Wolves
5) Green Day: Insomniac
4) Zoinks: Bad Move Space Cadet
3) Foo Fighters
2) Bracket: 4-Wheel Vibe
1) Fig Dish: That’s What Love Songs Often Do

Fig Dish's debut is probably the most obscure #1 of all these lists, but for fans of straight-up melodic rock, it doesn't get much better than this. I discovered the band after hearing "Seeds" on the radio (in retrospect it's pretty amazing that such an under-the-radar band even scored radio play, but I'm pretty sure I heard this on Q104 back before the station switched formats to classic rock, and I seem to recall Q104 actually being a pretty good place to hear a lot of new, relatively unknown bands. Also see "Stars," by Hum), and to my utter joy, the entire album was filled with hook after hook. I also can't say enough great things about Bracket's "4-Wheel Vibe," a true gem of a pop-punk album. To this day, I still don't know of any other bands that can take a highly limiting genre like pop-punk and make it sound fresh and original on every new outing. Also, Dave Grohl's initial Foo Fighters offering is just as good as the two albums that succeeded it, making the band's continued inability to release anything worth listening to in the present decade extremely frustrating.

1994

5) Soundgarden: Superunknown
4) Stone Temple Pilots: Purple
3) The Offspring: Smash
2) Weezer
1) Green Day: Dookie

I already touched on the significance of "Dookie" to me, but I'll reiterate that this was probably the most important album of my life. In addition to just being flat-out amazing, it not only drove a full-on obsession with pop-punk for years to come but inspired me to learn how to play guitar. In fact, the first song I ever learned how to play was "Basket Case." Not only that, but I still wear my guitar with the strap on the lowest setting possible thanks to Billie Joe Armstrong, for Christ's sake.

1993

4) Snoop Doggy Dogg: Doggystyle
3) Nirvana: In Utero
2) Jellyfish: Spilt Milk
1) A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders

It's funny; I didn't even discover the top two albums on this tiny list until nearly 10 years after they each came out. For all the props and name-checking Jellyfish receives among power-pop die-hards ("fathers of modern-day power-pop" and all that), I don't even think "Spilt Milk" is really that great. I know, blasphemy and all that, and I should probably check my power-pop-lover's membership card at the door, but truthfully, I would put many of the power-pop records I've written about during the last several years ahead of this album. Not that it's a bad album by any stretch -- were one to look power-pop up in the dictionary, you'd be hard-pressed to find a more representative song than the incredible "Joining a Fan Club" -- but despite repeated listens, it's never quite sunk its claws as deep into me as I would have hoped. Fortunately it's alumni have gone on to do some pretty amazing things, including 2008-Album-of-the-Year contender "Catnip Dynamite" by Roger Joseph Manning Jr. Seriously, the album is fucking ridiculous. First Bryan Scary, and now this. If you have any interest in power-pop whatsoever, please get yourself a copy of "Catnip Dynamite."

1992

2) Dr. Dre: The Chronic
1) Stone Temple Pilots: Core

1991

2) Teenage Fanclub: Bandwagonesque
1) Nirvana: Nevermind

1990

1) They Might Be Giants: Flood

I didn't really start seriously listening to music until 1994, hence why the early years of this decade are significantly underrepresented.

Miscellaneous Unranked Albums from the Aughts that I either Liked a Lot But Didn't Quite Make Top Tens or Discovered After Establishing a Given Year's Top Ten

A: Hi-Fi Serious (2002)
American Hi-Fi (2001)
Ash: Free All Angels (2002)
Bleu: Redhead (2003)
The Davenports: Hi-Tech Lowlife (2004)
Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Handsome Devil: Love and Kisses from the Underground (2001)
Jackdaw4: Gramophone Logic (2004)
Motion City Soundtrack: I am the Movie (2003)
Steve Ward: See and Be Seen (2003)
Student Rick: Soundtrack for a Generation (2001)
Sugarcult: Start Static (2001)
The Tories: Upside of Down (2001)
Verve Pipe: Underneath (2001)
Weezer (2001)
Yellow Second: Still Small (2002)

Miscellaneous Unranked 1990s

Blink-182: Dude Ranch (1997)
Moby: Play (1999)
Smash Mouth: Astro Lounge (1999)
Stir: Holy Dogs (1999)
The Tories: Wonderful Life (1997)

Top Ten Albums of 2000 and 2001

2008-04-17T11:29:00.011-04:00

For whatever reason I've been in a hugely musical mood as of late. This, coupled with the fact that I recently realized that I never officially cataloged my Top Ten Albums for the first two years of the aughts, has compelled me to pull together two more top ten lists for your viewing pleasure. This way when the decade comes to a close, I'll have complete top ten lists from every year from which to cull my "Top 100 Albums of the Decade" post. Of course, that presumes that this blog will still be around in 2010, which seems unlikely, so depending on whether I continue to stay on this music kick, perhaps I'll do a premature "Best Albums of the Decade" list through the present day.

Anyway.

Top Ten Albums of 2000

10) Eve 6: Horrorscope - An album with a handful of excellent songs, although it has more than its share of weak spots. Unfortunately I don't have anything else to place in the tenth slot.

9) Mest: Wasting Time - A near carbon-copy of Showoff's outstanding also-produced-by-Goldfinger's-John-Feldmann eponymous debut from the year prior, Mest's debut was nevertheless a brillaint exercise in hyper-catchy pop-punk, filled with insanely addictive melodies and choruses. Sadly, everything they've released since has pretty much been pure garbage.

8) NOFX: Pump Up the Valuum - An outstanding effort following 1997's relatively weak "So Long and Thanks for All the Shoes," this record shows why NOFX is still one of the all-time greats at disgustingly catchy pop-punk.

7) Yellow Second: June One - The debut album from the band that released my favorite record of 2005 (and almost certainly one of the top five discs of the decade, I might add), "June One" finds Yellow Second honing their unique power-pop sound. It's a tad rough around the edges and not quite the masterpiece that "Altitude" is, but it's still a terrific debut that sets the stage for the band's excellent sophomore record, "Still Small." You know a band is special when you can toss their first three albums on shuffle and be outrageously happy song after song after song.

Interesting sidenote: According to Yellow Second's MySpace and Wikipedia pages, they are apparently playing a reunion show on May 9 in Denver, which is mind-blowingly awesome. If anyone can provide any further information, i.e. whether this means the band is officially getting back together and recording more music, and/or plans to attend the show and can somehow record it or at least provide a rundown of events, please let me know.

6) Caviar (self-titled) - This album was not on my radar in 2000, but came to my attention two years ago and very much deserves a spot on this list. See my mini-review here.

5) The Drowners: Is There Something on Your Mind - A huge find. For some reason this record was sitting in one of the listening stations in the Circuit City in Union Square, and something compelled me to give it a whirl. From the opening one-two punch of "Think of Me" and the title track, I was hooked almost instantly. Sadly the band's never really come close to this level of brilliance on its hard-to-find subsequent releases.

4) New Pornographers: Mass Romantic - It took a little while to fully appreciate, as I'd never really heard anyone who sounded quite like the New Pornographers before, but as anyone who's heard this brilliant power-pop tour-de-force can attest to, it's pretty fucking spectacular.

3) Tsar (self-titled) - Another amazing debut album, chock full of catchy-as-hell power-pop songs with an emphasis on the power. Lead singer Jeff Whalen's voice is amazing on this record, and the pop hooks are equally huge. I saw this band open for Marvelous 3 at Bowery Ballroom in September of 2000, and I can still say to this day that it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Sadly, the group's long-awaited 2005 follow-up was pretty awful, making Tsar's eponymous release yet another debut album on this list in which the band failed to follow through on its incredible promise.

2) Deathray (self-titled) - This was another record that took several spins to latch onto my brain, but once it did, it never let go. The entire album, spearheaded by Cake's Greg Brown, is outstanding all the way through, highlighted by album opener "My Lunatic Friends," the Beatlesque brilliance of "What Would You Do," the poppy pleasantness of "Now That I Am Blind" and awesome album closer "Happy New Year." Basically, if you're into power-pop in any way shape or form, this album needs to be in your collection.

1) Marvelous 3: ReadySexGo! - The final album from the quintessential late-90s power-pop band, Butch Walker & co. deliver a balls-to-the-wall power-pop manifesto, featuring some of the catchiest rock songs you'll ever find. While maybe not quite as hook-laden as predecessor "Hey! Album" (although really, the catchiness bar was set so damn high with that one that it's unlikely to ever be surpassed), "ReadySexGo!" is still astounding. Kicking off with the rollicking "Little Head" and culminating with one of the best album closers of all time, "Cigarette Lighter Love Song," the record is near-flawless, and makes one pine for the days when Butch Walker was actually good.

Top Ten Albums of 2001

10) Lit: Atomic - I don't think this album is quite as good as Lit's debut, but it's still an outlandishly hook-laden affair, and a great album to blast with the windows down on a beautiful sunny day.

9) Gwenmars: Driving a Million - This now-defunct band's last album; it's kind of tough to label, but you could probably call it power electro-synth pop. Hooky as hell, I've never really heard another record like it. As usual, AMG sums it up quite nicely: "Big choruses, big melodies, and big guitars -- nothing here is particularly discreet. To be sure, those looking for an unpretentious big rock sound will certainly not be disappointed."

8) Dashboard Confessional: The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most - As the years have passed I seldom listen to this album anymore, but when it came out I loved it, so I have to give it its due. A great collection of over-the-top emotionally sappy yet hooky-as-hell songs that - for a brief period of time - made it O.K. to sing along to some of the pussiest lyrics imaginable as loud as possible while you aimlessly drove around after being dumped.

7) Big in Japan: Destroy the New Rock - An extremely underrated pop-punk album from Zac Damon, former lead singer of seminal '90s pop-punk band Zoinks! Damon's surfer-dude voice always had a unique catchiness to it, and his ear for melody and pop songwriting chops have never been better than on this spectacular effort. Every song is a winner, and even though I barely listen to pop-punk anymore I can still toss this record on at any time. Listen to "New Dead Boyfriend" and "Everyone's a Scientist," and then try to get 'em out of your head. Don't say I didn't warn you.

6) Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American - This was my introduction to Jimmy Eat World, and they fucking blew the roof off with this album. I know a lot of JEW fans cite their first two albums as their best, but to me this is the quintessential Jimmy Eat World album - powerful, raw, emotional, and catchy-as-all-get-out. Super album all the way through, and as good as it is, follow-up "Futures" is arguably even better. Unfortunately last year's "Chase This Light" felt wholly uninspired, so it remains to be seen if the band can regain its former magic.

5) Steve Ward: Opening Night - Though I didn't discover Cherry Twister and the group's mastermind Steve Ward until 2004, this gem of a record is highly deserving of placement. This aurally beautiful power-pop feast is almost impossible to sum up succinctly, so I'll direct you to the fawning customer reviews page on Amazon - these folks say it just as well if not better than I could.

4) Actionslacks: The Scene's Outta Sight - Found these guys through Napster of all things, back when the site was providing free downloads of under-the-radar bands. Lead single "I Hope This Makes it Easier For You" was a nice pop-punky intro to the band, but the rest of the record revealed a far more mature and layered sound, and was dotted with introspective and emotional poppy tunes. Additionally, this was actually the first album I ever reviewed for The Brown & White at Lehigh, and the review is still up on the band's website (although you'll have to scroll nearly 3/4 of the way down the page to read it).

3) The Rosenbergs: Mission You - Another Napster special, I played the hell out of "Paper & Plastic" and the amazing Oasis-like "In Pursuit" back in 2001, but didn't get my hands on the full record until several years later. Still, this is top-notch power-pop of the highest order, and the only negative I can draw is that The Rosenbergs have shamefully only graced us with a mere two albums in their career, not including lead singer David Fagin's solo debut last year.

2) Pete Yorn: Musicforthemorningafter - This is where it gets hard. Having to choose between Pete Yorn's first album, almost certainly the best debut record in music history, and what I consider Pernice Brothers' - a band who musically can do no wrong - finest album, is essentially impossible. Though I've ranked them 2 and 1, respectively, you could easily flip them around and I wouldn't complain. Simply put, "Musicforthemorningafter" is a masterpiece. Every single song is utterly, jaw-droppingly incredible, and eminently re-listenable. I never get tired of hearing these songs, ever. I'm also not sure there's ever been a more apt record title, as "Musicforthemorningafter" sounds exactly like what it says it is.

1) Pernice Brothers: The World Won't End - Ah, "The World Won't End." This album came to my attention after a fawning review from The Onion AV Club (which sadly doesn't appear to have been archived), and from the moment I heard the opening strumming of "Working Girls," I knew I was in for a life-changing experience. Never had I heard a voice as heavenly as Joe Pernice's, all while singing some of the catchiest songs imaginable. The first four tunes on this album stack up against the best of anything ever recorded, and it's spectacularly solid throughout. I've often joked about how I could listen to Joe Pernice sing instruction manuals and it would sound great, but the man truly is a gift. And the fact that he uses his extraordinary talents to consistently arrange some of the flat-out best music being recorded today is a gift that is ceaseless.

Top albums of 2008 (so far)

2008-04-10T12:26:00.006-04:00

I've been listening to some great new albums lately and my ears are burning enough that I feel it's time to share.

At this very moment, the album that has taken up full residence in my brain and refuses to let go is "Flight of the Knife," the new disc from Bryan Scary & the Shredding Tears. Some of you may recall Bryan Scary from last year's brilliant debut, and incredibly he's managed to outdo himself on this sophomore effort. It's almost impossible to describe everything that's going on here, as Scary literally runs the gamut through seemingly every possible musical genre imaginable - pop, rock, '50s doo-wop, glam, orchestral baroque pop, vaudeville, carnival whimsy, chamber pop, prog, post-punk, and probably several other genres that I can't think of right now - and somehow seamlessly melds everything together in an utterly brilliant hook-drenched pastiche of a concept record. Seriously, every single song tosses off about 8,000 hooks, and you could listen to each track several times and still catch new hooks that will quickly lodge themselves into your brain each time. The story has something to do with spacecrafts and other assorted flying vehicles, but as always for me, the lyrical content is secondary to the outstanding songwriting and musicianship. Scary manages to evoke the Beatles, Queen and Bowie to name a few points of reference, and as far as more recent bands, there's some Chris Brown (my #2 record of '07), Jackdaw4, a ton of Jellyfish and traces of just about every good power pop band I've ever name-checked. Even though we're only in April, it's going to take an absolute monster to surpass this album as #1 record of 2008. On a random side note, apparently the band has a big fan in Perez Hilton of all people, so perhaps for once one of my extremely underground bands will actually pick up some mainstream appeal.

The Crayons: What's Wrong With You - "What's Wrong With You" is just a solid album of mostly mid-tempo power-pop, with great vocals and arrangements. Reminds me of the Tories in parts, and the Rosenbergs elsewhere. It starts off strongly, and then it surprisingly actually gets even better in the middle of the record (an area where, as we all know, a lot of records tend to sag), highlighted by the 1-2-3 punch of "Well," "Maybe" and "By the Way." Seriously, try to get "By the Way" out of your head, what with that little guitar lick throughout and then the sweet-ass lyrical shift and minor chord in the coda - that's great stuff.

Panic at the Disco: Pretty.Odd. - This is definitely the surprise of the year so far. If the Beatles were still recording albums in 2008, this might be a reasonable approximation of what they would sound like. There's a lot of interesting stuff going on here, between acoustic guitars, horns, string sections and creative arrangements. Panic has pretty much shed its entire emo sound but maintained its inherent catchiness, and the result is song after song of melodic goodness. This album's also been pretty well-received critically, but I'm not sure what the fan reaction has been so it'll be interesting to see if they keep up with this new, more mature pop sound, or feel forced to go back to what made them stars in the first place. Obviously the former would be ideal, as they've really taken a giant leap forward between their first two albums. A lot of bands fall back into pigeonholing themselves after releasing a successful debut album, so to really shift gears stylistically and come out sounding even better is truly impressive.

Previously: Top ten albums of 2007 (so far) [5.10.07]

Top Ten Albums of 2002

2008-04-01T12:42:00.006-04:00

Unfortunately the Brown & White appears to have divested itself of its archival material; as such, there's no longer an internet home for my "Top Ten Albums of 2002" column that I penned six years ago.

However, rather than maintain a dead link on my sidebar, I figured the least I could do was try to recreate the list as best as I could from memory, just in case the few of you stalwarts that occasionally come by here and have appreciated my past music recommendations want to go back and see what I was loving more than half a decade ago.

If I find some time, I'll track down the hard copy (I can say with 100% veracity that it's located somewhere in my parents' house - between my mom's inability to throw things away combined with both my brother and I no longer living there, our old rooms have literally become life-sized hamster cages, featuring endless streams of detritus dating back at least two decades), and transcribe it into this blog post, but for now all you get are the album names in the order I'm pretty sure I had them in minus pithy commentary.

Top Ten Albums of 2002
10) Superdrag: Last Call for Vitriol
9) Midtown: Living Well is the Best Revenge
8) Bad Astronaut: Houston We Have a Drinking Problem
7) The All-American Rejects (self-titled)
6) Ben Kweller: Sha Sha
5) Butch Walker: Left of Self-Centered
4) Rhett Miller: The Instigator
3) Phantom Planet: The Guest
2) OK Go (self-titled)
1) Eminem: The Eminem Show

The best bar in New York City

2008-03-28T14:00:00.000-04:00

Hooray!

2008-03-20T10:46:00.001-04:00

Only three months until summer!

The funniest people in New York City

2008-03-11T09:21:00.001-04:00

If you're anything like me, you thought you were a clever little bastard and started a blog in the halcyon days right before blogs went big (spring of aught-four, to be exact) and dreamed of one day being paid to be funny. You subsequently lost interest right around the time the whole personal blogging backlash occurred, and now you post sporadically at best with the painful realization that your comedic golden days are behind you.

Having experienced the dizzying highs and perilous lows of trying to make people laugh on a daily basis, it's easy to become immune to almost any new attempt at humor and eventually reach the sad conclusion that most comedy sucks. Sure, every now and then something brilliant comes along (see "Development, Arrested"), but as a rule, most TV shows and/or people just aren't funny. Making people laugh is a tough business, especially in New York City, where everyone's heard it all before, and especially if you were born here, like me, and think you're better and funnier than everything that ever happened.

Which is why I'm pleased to report that, even for jaded New York chumps such as myself, there is still laughter to be found, and it's in the form of improv comedy troupe Reuben Williams, performing at 10:30pm on Saturday nights at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. I had the pleasure of catching the incredibly talented octet this past weekend, and I was astonished at how excellent they were. As someone who misguidedly fancied himself an actor way back in high school, I am painfully aware of not only how tough improv can be, but how hard it is to actually be funny doing improv.

Simply put, Reuben Williams knocked it out of the damn park. In the first half of the show they asked the audience for a piece of advice that they had received, and ran wild it with it for half an hour. The second half featured the group's "As Seen on TV" segment, in which they analyze the contents of an audience member's wallet and create several TV shows based on a 10-minute quiz with said individual regarding their wallet minutiae. My one gripe would be that the guy they chose ("Dustin") almost seemed like a plant, as the bizarre crap in his wallet and the stories he was telling were practically lubricated for Reuben Williams' comedy pleasure.

Regardless, every single member of the troupe was on point and there were almost no awkward pauses or unfunny moments. The group clearly has a comfort level with each other, and seemed to know exactly what each member was going to say or do and anticipated it perfectly.

I realize I'm describing exactly what it takes to run a successful improv group, but if you have any interest in laughing at all, please do yourself a favor and check out Reuben Williams. Additionally, it's only $8, which really can't be beat. What else can you do for eight bucks on a Saturday? Drink one beer. See three-quarters of a movie. Take a cab six blocks. And if that isn't sweet-ass enough for you, one of the troupe's members is Charlie Todd, the guy who created Improv Everywhere, and who, if I'm not mistaken, played "Rob" at that now-infamous Yankee game in September 2006.

The only surprising aspect of the show is that these eight talented performers aren't already household names. UCB owner Amy Poehler, herself often one of the only humorous aspects of Saturday Night Live, really oughta get Lorne Michaels' ass over to a Reuben Williams show and hire each one of the talented cast members on the spot. They'd almost certainly create a funnier program than the crap SNL's been diarrheaing out for years (though the last few post-strike episodes have actually been reasonably funny. Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Amy Poehler and the always-outstanding Kristin Wiig can all stay. Everyone else: vomit).

#76 Authoring witty self-referential blog posts lampooning one's cultural group's stereotypes

2008-02-26T13:19:00.005-05:00

I know I'm way late to the party, but man, I wish I had thought of this.

Funniest thing I've seen on the web in a while, although painful to realize how easy it would have been to write that blog.

An excellent burger at Borough and an annoying New York Sun crossword puzzle

2008-02-22T08:56:00.004-05:00

Last night I decided to check out Borough for my birthday dinner with my family, primarily due to the fact that New York Magazine ranked it as one of their favorite new burger places of 2007. My goal is to hit every spot on that list, although it's going to be an uphill battle for the other burger joints, because Borough set the bar pretty fucking high.

That's right, Borough's bacon cheeseburger not only lived up to the hype; it surpassed it. In addition to being one of the best burgers I've eaten in quite some time, the entire restaurant was spectacular. The food aside from the burger was also outstanding (I had the matzoh ball soup, fried calamari and some fried pickles), the tap was made up exclusively of microbrews from New York State (I tried the Checker Cab Blonde Ale, which was delicious), the ambiance and decor were perfect, our waiter was impeccable and the entire staff was incredibly gracious, with the hostess and manager coming by several times to ensure we were enjoying our meal and also seeming genuinely excited that I had chosen to celebrate my birthday at their restaurant. In fact, they even brought out three separate dessert plates on the house at the very end.

Now that's how you treat your patrons. It baffles me that someone could have had such a negative experience here, as everyone in my party loved the restaurant. If anyone reading this is looking for a great recommendation, you simply can't go wrong with Borough.

As far as the second point of business of this blog post, I call bullshit on yesterday's New York Sun crossword puzzle. I expect my Thursday puzzles to be challenging, but not full of theme answers that I don't even have a prayer of hazarding guesses for. Who under the age of 50 not only knows anything about Katharine Hepburn's film career, but can recall the first and last names of several characters she played in movies that came out 800 years ago?? Sure, you could make the argument that I should have been able to deduce the long answers from the across fill, but even those clues were causing me fits. Altogether a frustrating puzzle for my birthday, and I generally expect more relevant content from Mr. Gordon. At least Shortz had my back yesterday and gave me something reasonable for a Thursday.

Well that was quick

2008-02-21T09:18:00.003-05:00

They still haven't invented a please time won't you slow the fuck down machine yet, have they?

Not entirely sure how it's my birthday again, but if you're eating out tonight, please have a burger in my honor, especially if you live near an In-N-Out.

As for me, in addition to chowing down on some sweet, sweet red meat, I'm going to bask in the moment while looking forward to the summer and all of the amazing things that are going to be happening during the next few months.

Previously:
On the C here I come [2.21.07]
25 [2.21.06]
Briefly [2.21.05]

Brain hurt

2008-02-07T14:24:00.000-05:00

I just discovered that Ken Tremendous of Fire Joe Morgan fame is actually Michael Schur, a writer for "The Office."

This caused my head to explode for a variety of reasons, primarily due to the fact that I recently raced through rewatching the first three seasons of "The Office," while FJM is one of the few remaining sites on the information superhighway that can still make me laugh out loud.

In conclusion, apparently Michael Schur is the funniest man on the planet.

Alright Writer's Guild, I think I've been pretty damn patient, but enough is enough

2008-02-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

I realize I'm not the target demographic here, but doesn't NBC's "Lipstick Jungle" just look fucktastically awful?

This opinion is based solely off the poster, but good God I can't walk more than four feet without seeing Kim Raver's pitiful excuse for cleavage shoved in my face. Don't get me wrong, I do find Ms. Audrey Raines decently attractive, but her top selling point was never her fucking rack. Of these three wenches, you're telling me Kim Raver's flat chest is supposedly more eye-catching than Brooke Shields' tits or that other dime-a-dozen actress's cans?

Would this show have even sniffed prime time if the writer's strike wasn't going on? Additionally, "Sex and the City" has been off the air for four years, and the twentysomething women who lived and died with it have all grown up and (hopefully) come to the realization that their miserable lives will never be as fabulous as the existences of their four strumpet heroines.

I guess if "Lipstick Jungle" has anything going for it, it's that the three leads would have to fall out of the ugly plane, hit every branch of the ugly tree on the way down, land in the ugly pile of leaves and get shat on by the ugly squirrel to even begin to approach what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like.

TIWWDN proudly supports Barack Obama

2008-02-04T11:25:00.000-05:00

In the nearly four years of the blog's existence, I don't believe I've ever once talked politics (Editor's note: 100% false. See here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.)

Despite being a subject that doesn't come within a 100-mile radius of my wheelhouse, I urge my readership to cast your vote for Barack Obama if you live in one of the states holding a primary tomorrow.

Now I'm an unabashed fan of Bill Clinton. Loved him as president. If ol' Bill were running again, he'd have my vote. But Hillary? Hillary just doesn't do it for me. I think she's boring, insanely egotistical and doesn't represent anything new or fresh. Additionally, she disparaged stay-at-home moms back in the early 90s; a remark that still stings my mother - a hardcore lifelong democrat - to this day.

Obama is incredibly charismatic, overwhelmingly intelligent and will get many things accomplished. Who cares if he's "inexperienced"? No one can know what it's like to sit in the big seat until you get there. Obama's just as qualified as anyone else, and he's shown through his stump speeches and other rhetoric that he's more than capable to lead our nation.

This country's been under Bush/Clinton rule for the last TWENTY years. Do we really need to make it 28?

Hell no. Hillary Clinton may be New York's state senator, but the hell with New York state. New York state has taken a dump on New York City for more than 100 years. Hillary Clinton doesn't represent me. Peter Vallone Jr.'s old secession plan was in the news again last week, and on the eve of the New York state primary, that wonderful idea sounds better than ever.

And tomorrow, this lifelong Manhattanite is pulling the lever for Barack Obama.

Dear fans of New England sports teams,

2008-02-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

Suck it.

Love,
This Is What We Do Now

For your enjoyment : My very own crossword puzzle

2008-01-24T10:50:00.000-05:00

Longtime readers are well aware of my love affair with the Times crossword puzzle, and more recently, the Sun.

I can't let a day go by without attacking both puzzles, and through practice and perseverance, can now comfortably complete both papers' puzzles without assistance of any kind through Thursday. I've even found myself finishing the odd Friday here and there - I've been averaging roughly one completed Times Friday a month as of late, although the Sun's Friday puzzle is a far different story, despite nailing one of those a few months ago.

This is all a long-winded way of saying that given my love and increased ability to complete the two best crosswords in the country (although I still haven't grown the courage to attack a Saturday Times yet), I was recently inspired to try creating my own puzzle.

I came up with the theme a while before I actually began hashing out the rest of the grid. I then worked on the puzzle on and off for a couple of months - it's very easy to get stuck on a particular corner in trying to write these things, and it's important to be able to give up, take a break, and come back later and try to finish it.

I completed my puzzle in mid-November, followed the submission guidelines on Cruciverb.com, and sent the materials to Will Shortz. Two months passed.

I finally heard word the other day that he wasn't interested.

Obviously it would've been amazing to have the very first puzzle I ever created published in the Times, especially given my history with it - I discovered the Times crossword during my junior year at Stuyvesant High School, and in addition to working on the puzzle every day and snatching up countless crossword books as well as turning my entire family into crossword fiends, I also got to see Mr. Shortz speak one summer several years ago up in Wellfleet while on vacation in Cape Cod. And of course I attended a showing of "Wordplay" during its theatrical release and subsequently purchased it on DVD.

Undeterred, I submitted my theme to Peter Gordon, the Sun's outstanding crossword editor. I didn't discover the Sun puzzle until early 2007, but once I did, I realized that not only was it on par with the Times but often surpassed its counterpart in both difficulty and creativity.

Peter got back to me in less than 24 hours, and politely told me he wasn't interested.

So having been rejected by the only two crossword editors I care about, I figure there's little point in wasting something that took a heck of a lot of my time to create. Although it's my first stab at construction, I feel this puzzle contains a decent amount of enjoyable vocabulary and a creative theme that should make it worth the while of any Times or Sun crossword puzzle aficionado.

It's certainly not the hardest puzzle ever, but it's not like I'm going to bust out a Friday Sun puzzle on my very first try. The difficulty level is probably Monday.

Anyway, without further adieu, below is the link to my crossword puzzle. It's an Across Lite file. If you don't have Across Lite, you can download it here.

I hope you have as much fun solving the puzzle as I did creating it.

My Crossword Puzzle | January 24, 2008

Will someone please step up and reopen Hackers, Hitters & Hoops?

2008-01-11T15:57:00.000-05:00

Earlier today I wrote about the lack of hibachi restaurants in New York. As I discussed this pressing issue with friends throughout the afternoon, we kept touching on other critical institutions that incredibly do not have a presence of any kind in Manhattan.

The list includes miniature golf, laser tag and basketball hoops low enough for white men to dunk on. How can it be that in as populous a city as ours is, Manhattanites have direct access to exactly zero of these time-honored traditions?

I also realized that my beloved Hackers, Hitters & Hoops, of which I wrote a loving ode to a while back, used to be the go-to place for two of those three activities. Now I know opening up any business in New York in this day and age, especially one as presumably money-losing as Hackers was, is damn expensive, but good God, we are being seriously deprived. I can't believe that with all the money in New York that no deep-pocketed fun-loving investor angel is willing to open up a Hackers-type establishment, even at a loss.

Hackers has been dead for nearly a decade. It's high time for someone to open up a brand-new, even better Hackers that's open 24/7, with a full-court basketball court whose out-of-bounds area is actually a real area of open space instead of a wall, 10 Top Skater machines, more batting cages than you can shake a corked bat at, outdoor mini golf, a three-level bar with $2 Bud Light drafts during happy hour, laser tag, bowling, the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game as well as Turtles In Time and the Simpsons arcade game, and the crown jewel of crown jewels: 50 nine-foot tall basketball hoops, ensuring that you could go dunk on your friends at absolutely any damn time you felt the urge to.

Can someone please explain to me how, outside of Benihana, there are ZERO hibachi places in New York City?

2008-01-11T11:01:00.001-05:00

So this morning I woke up with a hankering for some sweet-ass hibachi action. Unfortunately (and expectedly) I called Benihana and of course they had no available seats. To me, the strangest part about Benihana in the city is the fact that they used to have two locations, but incredibly now only have one. And apparently that one location is THE ONLY GODDAMN PLACE IN THE CITY WHERE I CAN WATCH DUDES COOK MY FOOD IN FRONT OF ME AND THEN ENJOY A DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS SAMURAI SPECIAL.

How is it that in a city of eight million people there is only ONE hibachi restaurant? Unfathomable. And given Benihana's insane popularity, how on earth were they forced to close a restaurant, when really they should be opening eight more? Inquiring minds want to know. If by chance any of the two people who still read this blog know of a Japanese steak house in Manhattan that cooks the food in front of you, I implore you to share your knowledge in the comments.

Shortlist of directors who I will see every film they ever release regardless of how critically adored or reviled they may be

2008-01-08T09:55:00.000-05:00

Like any movie fan, there are several directors whose body of work I consider to be in the upper echelon of modern moviemaking, making any new release of theirs, regardless of what anyone else may say about them, essential viewing.

Said directors have generated enough goodwill with me over the years that I will even forgive their missteps because I know better things will be in store on the next go-round.

I was inspired to do this shortlist because I saw "There Will Be Blood" last night and it was amazing, reconfirming what many of us already know: Daniel Day-Lewis is the best actor in film and Paul Thomas Anderson is a revolutionary filmmaker. I also saw "Southland Tales" back on the day it came out in November due to my love of "Donnie Darko." Despite the critical malaise the movie inspired, I mostly enjoyed it, if only because its plethora of ideas and overall inconsistency made it so unique. No matter how disjointed it may have been, Richard Kelly still has more creativity than 99% of the directors working today and I know he'll blow us all away again at some point.

Anyway, here's my shortlist of the most innovative and creative filmmakers working today:

Paul Thomas Anderson
Wes Anderson
Darren Aronofsky
Richard Kelly
Christopher Nolan

I'm probably leaving someone off, if I'm missing anyone substantial feel free to pipe in in the comments.

Onetime semi-popular blogger cries in his cereal over attention generated by newer blogger rehashing old material

2007-12-20T12:14:00.000-05:00

And that blogger would be me.

Very nicely done post by Cajun Boy, although I liked it better when I wrote it a little over three years ago.

Not that I have a right to complain, seeing as how I effectively gave this blog up a long time ago. However, I can't help but be reminded of myself as a young blogger upon reading a blog post like this, and pine for the glorious highs and devastating lows one can only experience via fleeting Internet fame.

Top Ten Albums of 2007

2007-12-14T08:43:00.000-05:00

Well hello there. I know posting here has become virtually nonexistent, but not even an irregular writing commitment can keep me away from a good ol' year-end top ten albums list. For those of you new to this exercise, I've archived my previous five years worth of top tens over in the righthand sidebar should you be interested in 50 other albums I'm crazy about.

This year I'm introducing a new feature - my top tracks of the year. Below is a sampling of songs that I simply could not get out of head at varying points throughout this year:

The Afters, "You"
Amy Winehouse, "You Know I'm No Good"
Citizen Cope, "Nite Becomes Day"
The Click Five, “Time Machine”
Corinne Bailey Rae, "Put Your Records On"
Deathray, "Let's Be Friends"
Devlin Murphy, "Today"
The Early November, "Hair"
The Fire Apes, "Hey Kate"
Head Automatica, "Lying Through Your Teeth"
Head Automatica, "Scandalous"
Holmes, "Wake Up"
Icecream Hands, "Launceston"
Mika, "Grace Kelly"
Nickelback, "Photograph"
Orson, "Already Over"
The Push Stars, "Lucky Sevens"
Rihanna, "Umbrella"
Saul Zonana, "Silver Jacket"
Sean Kingston, “Beautiful Girls”

Moving over to the full-length end of the spectrum, as per usual, we'll start with the year's disappointments. Despite containing "The Pretender," one of my favorite songs of the year, "Echoes Silence Patience and Grace" continued the Foo Fighters' string of mediocre releases, dating back to 2002's "One by One." While Dave Grohl has built up enough good will with me that I'll continue to eagerly anticipate new Foo albums, one has to wonder if the band will ever once again reach the sonic perfection heard on "The Colour and the Shape" and its brilliant follow up, "There Is Nothing Left to Lose."

Another rather forgetful affair was former Tories frontman Steve Bertrand's solo debut, “Pain is a Megaphone.” The two Tories records gave hope to Jellyfish fans that modern power-pop was indeed alive and in good hands, but on this misguided bland disc Bertrand appears to have forgotten what it was about his music that made people like it in the first place.

For the second time in three years, Bryce Avary, a.k.a The Rocket Summer, makes my biggest disappointments list. Not that "Do You Feel" was overwhelmingly bad, but on both this album and its predecessor, "Hello Good Friend," he almost sounds like he's trying too hard to create the perfect pop song. The talent is there: "Calendar Days" is still a terrific album, but it remains to be seen if he'll ever live up to the promise shown thus far.

And after the excellent "Futures," Jimmy Eat World returned to give us the weak "Chase This Light." I found this record so underwhelming I can't even be bothered to waste time writing any more words about its suckitude.

Moving on to notable entries that I enjoyed, but didn't quite make the top ten: John Hoskinson's "Pancho Fantastico," a fun record with a lot of good songs, although not enough great ones; the Red Button's "She's About to Cross My Mind," the best early-period Beatles album the Beatles never recorded; the ACBs' self-titled debut, which showed lots of promise for a power-pop newcomer although some of the songs and ideas felt a bit unfinished; and Sondre Lerche's "Phantom Punch," a catchy, eclectic record that stuck with me for a bit although faded a bit faster than I'd have liked.

Additionally, Rosenbergs lead singer David Fagin released "For Promotional Use Only," and while not as immediately catchy as much of his band's work, it was still a mostly enjoyable if mellower affair; New Pornographers came out with another solid if slightly underwhelming effort in "Challengers;" and Rooney released its much-anticipated Sophomore album, "Calling the World," which was better than expected although not quite as strong as its eponymous debut.

And because speculation is always fun, here's a brief list of my most anticipated for 2008: new albums from Second Saturday, Phantom Planet, Pernice Brothers, Waking Hours, Millicent Friendly, Checkpoint Charley, and The Like.

And finally, on to the list proper:

10) The Fizzies: Contest Popularity - While no one will mistake this for the best album ever, the Fizzies do enough things really well to make this worthy of the top ten. This unassuming catchy little rock album immediately calls to mind White Light Motorcade's spectacular "Thank You, Goodnight," as well as the ass-kicking rock theatrics of Marvelous3, back when Butch Walker still knew how to write a great song. The album’s best track is “Teardrops in the Bag,” a song which I played nonstop for two straight weeks, and that evokes Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979” and would have been all over the radio and MTV were this the mid to late 90s.

9) Drake Bell: It's Only Time - "It's Only Time" is the guiltiest of guilty pleasures, an insane sugar rush of power-pop goodness co-written and performed by the teenage star of "Drake & Josh," a Nickelodeon kid's show. That show's theme song, "Found a Way," might be the catchiest song in American history, and there's a great acoustic version of it on this album. There are also seemingly a million minor chords in every song, and the vocals and background harmonies would make Second Saturday blush. Hell, there are even several traces of Jellyfish in here, ultimately making this the kind of record that seems to have been made specifically to please my ears.

8) Bryan Scary: The Shredding Tears - The prettiest, most varied and ornate record of the year, by far. Bryan Scary goes places most power-poppers wouldn't dream of and returns with electric results. Scary runs the gamut of musical genres, stylistically moving from vaudeville to classical to post-punk and everything in between. This is a record that definitely takes several listens to start getting into with all that's going on, but it's highly rewarding if you give it a chance. The most direct comparison I'd make is late-era Beatles (primarily "Revolver" and "White Album"), as there are a ton of ideas being thrown around and the music's considerably more involved, but the melodies are ultimately still there.

7) Tripsitter: California Son - Tripsitter's "California Son" apparently came out in 2005, but I don't care. Toss in beautiful vocal harmonies, minor chords, pretty arrangements and a Beach Boys/Beatles fetish and you'll get a reasonable idea of what Tripsitter is all about. The title track is simply a pure power-pop delight, and will lodge itself inside your brain and never, ever leave, nor will you want it to. This is an awesome album, and a perfect record for a drive to the beach. Simply put, this album literally feels like summer.

6) Say Anything: In Defense of the Genre - Upon reading that Say Anything's follow-up to the incredible "...Is a Real Boy" was going to be a double album, I wasn't sure Max Bemis could pull it off, but damned if he just about did. Like any double CD, "In Defense of the Genre" has its share of filler, and it almost makes you wish that the production team could have cut some of it down and assembled the strongest material into one amazing album, but even so there's too much great stuff here that I'd be remiss in not giving it a spot on the list. Additionally, the all-star cast of guests Bemis recruited feel right at home throughout the album's duration, and the Pete Yorn cameo alone on the very first track is worth the price of admission.

5) The Nines: Gran Jukle's Field - In a top ten list of several genre-defying power-pop albums, The Nines' "Gran Jukle's Field" is up there with the best of them. Much has been made over the fact that power-pop legends Jason Falkner and Bleu assisted on this record, and it shows: All of the songs are soaked in hooks, and it makes you wish Bleu would not only take the time to work with some of power-pop's other heavy hitters (uh, Bleu and Second Saturday, anyway? Drool), but finally record a damn follow-up to "Redhead." Sure, last year's L.E.O. record was great, but the masses are clamoring for a proper Bleu album. However, getting back to the band at hand, The Nines don't disappoint, and two of the top tracks are songs that incredibly sound like they could have fit on either "Saturday Night Fever" or a Bee Gees album, or even been a long lost rewrite of the Doobie Brothers' "What a Fool Believes": the infectious disco duo of "Don't Be a Fool" and "I Am Lost." Seriously, I could picture Barry Gibb or Michael McDonald happily belting out either song. All in all, a very satisfying record.

4) Everybody Else - Everybody Else's eponymous debut (what is it about power-pop acts and excellent self-titled first albums? See OK Go; Rooney) is a spectacularly upbeat and awesome rock album. It's buoyantly catchy, and the songs will be stuck in your head for weeks at a time. This is just good old-fashioned catchy-as-all-get-out rock and roll. From the opening notes of "Meat Market," which could make even the most jaded hipster eager to shake their ass, to the retro 50s vibe of "Rich Girls Poor Girls" to the wistfully nostalgic "In Memoriam," there simply isn't a weak track throughout the album.

3) The Drawing Board: Clear to the Far Side of Way Over Yonder - This is a release that truly came out of nowhere, grabbed my ears and refused to let go. The overriding feeling on this album is sort of a power-pop/emo/indie rock hybrid, and the band utilizes a wide range of varied styles while putting their own unique stamp on the proceedings. It's a very interesting, hook-filled, harmony-drenched record featuring many unique and creative chord and tempo changes throughout, while also giving off a bit of an indie/emo sheen. It's a very cohesive, thematic record, with the semi-eerie "Clear to the Far Side" intro and "Lose My Mind" outro bookending a batch of brilliant songs. It's so easy for bands to sound derivative and unoriginal, which makes a song like "Happy With You" that much more incredible, as I can truthfully say I've really never heard anything like it. Engaging, catchy, haunting and beautiful: This is a special record, and albums like it don't come around too often.

2) Chris B rown: Now That You're Fed - Narrowing down a top three this year has been very hard. Really, any of the albums in my top three could be number one. I know "Now That You're Fed" is technically a 2006 release, but I wasn't able to get to it until this year. What a find, though. I don't know where Chris Brown came from, but I hope he sticks around for a long, long time. This record has everything a power-pop fan dreams of: Delicious melodies; an outstanding, almost Joe Pernice-like vocal range; and terrific, varied and catchy-as-hell arrangements. In an album full out of stand-out tracks that continually found me shaking my head in disbelief at how talented Brown is, perhaps the most fun moment is the baroque, "court jester is here to perform for the king" soaring string section in the chorus to "In the Kitchen." If listening to that track doesn't put a smile on your face, check your pulse; you might be dead.

1) Jackdaw4: Bipolar Diversions - There's not a whole hell of a lot more I can say beyond the fawning review I gave this album back in October, which the band linked to from its website. This album is what I hope every new album I listen to in a given year will be but so few are: So insanely, disgustingly catchy throughout that I don't even think about skipping a track. Brilliant vocals, amazing backup harmonies drenching every verse and chorus and an inconceivable gift for multiple hooks on every tune make this an easy choice for top album of 2007. Before this record came out, Chris Brown definitely held the top spot, and he'd certainly be a worthy choice, but the sheer wallop of sonic goodness packed into "Bipolar Diversions" would make it criminal to not bestow it top honors. Willie Dowling & Co. have truly created a modern masterpiece, and if this record isn't setting your ears on fire in all it's aural brilliance, do yourself a favor and check it out. Now.

Save Phil Hughes

2007-11-27T11:29:00.000-05:00

I have set up a separate website to ramp up the effort to keep Phil Hughes in pinstripes.

Check it out here: Save Phil Hughes

And feel free to e-mail me here: keephughes@gmail.com

If the Yankees trade Phil Hughes for Johan Santana I will be forced to drop my lifelong allegiance and root for another team

2007-11-26T15:28:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend there was a good deal of scuttlebutt regarding what it would take for the Yankees to trade for Johan Santana, namely top pitching prospect Phil Hughes, mediocre center fielder Melky Cabrera and outfield prospect Austin Jackson.

Despite Santana being one of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball, I truly hope the Yankees aren't seriously entertaining the idea of trading one of the most exciting young pitchers their system has ever produced for a player they can have for NOTHING BUT COLD HARD CASH IN ONE YEAR.

The fact that deals are even hypothetically being thrown around makes me nervous. After witnessing the success of the trio of young pitching studs the Yanks introduced to us this year, the aforementioned Hughes, the sensational Joba Chamberlain (who has rightly been declared untouchable by the organization) and Ian Kennedy, coupled with years of ineffective free agent pitching signings and trades (see Neagle, Denny; Weaver, Jeff; Contreras, Jose; Brown, Kevin; ad infinitum) it looked like Brian Cashman and company were finally on the right track of developing pitching from within.

I'll never forget Tuesday, May 1, 2007. I was watching the Yankees play Texas with my brother, and it was Hughes' second Major League start. I had of course read all the hype surrounding Hughes for the past three years, and couldn't wait to see what he was going to do after a rocky first outing against Toronto.

As any Yankee fan can attest to, Phil didn't disappoint, and as batter after batter went down, my brother and I kept laughing in giddy amazement about what we were seeing. I've been watching the Yankees regularly since 1993, and even attended Dwight Gooden's 1996 no-hitter, and not only can I simply not recall being more excited during a regular season game than I was for Phil's near no-no, but I don't think I've ever been more excited for the opposing team's lineup to come to bat than my own.

Of course, Phil's brush with baseball history didn't quite turn out the way we had hoped, but everyone who saw the game that night knew that without a doubt, Phil Hughes would have pitched a no-hitter had he not pulled up lame with one out in the 7th.

After returning from the hamstring injury in August, Hughes' results were a bit mixed, although his peripherals were still sound. He seemed to really settle in come September, pitching the Yankees to a huge must-win victory against the Mariners early in the month, paving the way for the team to snag the Wild Card lead and never look back.

And what happened in October? I was fortunate enough to attend Game 3 of the ALDS against Cleveland, and simply witnessed the Yankees' only victory of the series authored by none other than Phil Hughes, in relief of an 80-year-old Roger Clemens.

Those in favor of a trade for Santana will cite Santana's track record as well as Hughes still being a relatively unknown commodity -- despite positive early returns, we don't know what Hughes will ultimately become.

However, after YEARS OF SHITTY STARTING PITCHING, I'm more than willing to take my chances with Phil Hughes in the rotation, who could very well deliver multiple Cy Youngs in the future. In 2004 we thought we were getting an ace when we traded Nick Johnson and Juan Rivera for Javy Vasquez. On paper it looked like a great deal, but the Yanks sure ended up getting bitten in the ass on that one, huh? Nick the Stick and his .400-plus OBP would look pretty damn nice at first base in 2008. And the following year, we traded for Randy Johnson, only to kick him to the curb two seasons later after subpar results, which were lowlighted by the punting of his two pivotal Game 3 playoff starts.

Now if the Yankees actually acquired Santana, chances are he'd be better than Vasquez and Johnson. But I think he has just as good a shot at coming over and falling far short of expectations as he does of dominating. Simply put, the Yankees do not have a positive track record of success in dealing for starting pitching.

Additionally, what Yankee fan in their right mind would prefer rooting for Santana over a top-flight Yankee farmhand? And getting back to my initial point, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TRADE FOR SANTANA WHEN YOU CAN SIGN HIM WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE UP THE FARM IN 2009?

I can't stress this enough. What Yankee fan is so rabid for a championship in 2008 that they would actively mortgage a future of potential multiple championships for a shot at winning it next year?

Honestly, if the Yankees were to trade Phil Hughes, I might seriously have to consider switching my lifelong allegiance. I practically came out of the womb with a Yankee hat on, and I eagerly look forward to passing my Yankee fandom on to my son one day. But it would be very difficult for me to pull for the team if they traded away their most exciting homegrown player in more than a decade -- one that I have a serious rooting interest in and who has become my favorite player on the team.

I don't know who I'd root for. The National League is almost as boring as hockey, so the Mets aren't an option. I suppose I would have to vigorously campaign to bring back a third New York baseball team, which is actually a pretty cool idea regardless of everything I've written prior to this.

In conclusion, the Yankees absolutely cannot trade Phil Hughes to the Twins for Johan Santana. There is no conceivable way this deal makes sense to anyone with a brain, especially when (say it with me now) SANTANA WILL BE A FREE AGENT IN ONE YEAR. And if he gets traded somewhere else, who fucking cares? Let the Red Sox or the Mets unload all of their top prospects to get Santana. I'll be more than happy as Joba, Hughes, Kennedy and Horne pitch us to many, many championships over the next decade-plus.

Musical interlude

2007-10-29T07:12:00.000-04:00

We're less than two months away from the annual top ten albums of the year list, but I'd be remiss if I didn't strongly encourage you to check out an album that has best record of 2007 pretty much stamped across its forehead: Jackdaw4's "Bipolar Diversions."

Few albums hook me in from the very first listen, but this record pillaged my ears immediately and never let go. "Bipolar Diversions" is the kind of wonderful album that doesn't come along often, and when it does it makes you wonder why more bands can't or don't write songs like these.

So what the hell does it sound like, the zero people reading this are asking themselves. Well, it sounds exactly like what a flawless power-pop record should sound like: Instantly catchy songs, spectacular vocals and vocal harmonies on every track, unexpected tempo and chord changes and a melange of musical styles surfacing throughout.

That's one of the problems with many power-pop records, and for that matter, a lot of albums in any given genre: Any given album may have a handful of good songs, but everything runs together and sounds the same. Not so here. Jackdaw4 take power-pop and turn it on its head, with the carnival-like "Heimlich's Maneuver," the sunny Beatlesque pop of opening track "SOOMA," the whimsical "Jesus Wants My Soul Back" and the straight-up "toss a well-placed minor-chord in the chorus while incorporating a five-part Queen/Jellyfish vocal harmony" awesome power-pop of "Frobisher's Last Stand." Seriously, play "Frobisher's Last Stand" and attempt to remove it from your brain. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You may have noticed I referenced Jellyfish earlier. While the Jellyfish comparison gets lobbed at an awful lot of power-pop bands, there are really only a handful that actually merit that compliment of compliments, and with "Bipolar Diversions," Jackdaw4 is certainly one of them. With hooks galore, unique arrangements and backup vocal harmonies running rampant throughout the album, this record has the Jellyfish stamp all over it.

The last few years power-pop fans have been treated to such excellent records as Checkpoint Charley's "Songs One Through Twelve" and Millicent Friendly's "Downtime," two discs that were previously anointed as heirs to the Jellyfish throne. Well my friends, Jackdaw4 is this year's model. And if that means anything to you, you can thank me as soon as you get your hands on this album and listen to the first few seconds of it while a huge grin plasters itself across your face.

All Rachel Natalie Klein really wants to do is get inside your box

2007-10-22T07:37:00.000-04:00

In an interview in today's Metro sure to unintentionally boost her website Into the Box's traffic, Rachel Natalie Klein shared her thoughts on New Yorkers' obsessions with each other's apartments:

"New Yorkers for the most part are voyeurs, and we want to peer into each other’s boxes. As this project moves forward, we will be going inside more and more people’s boxes looking at how they are living and how they are struggling."