Manhattan needs the Angus Third Pounder NOW

I experienced quite the rollercoaster of emotions yesterday upon discovering that McDonald's recently launched a new burger called the Angus Third Pounder.

Initially I began to flip out harder than I've ever flipped out before. Three new delicious-looking burgers, with a variety of spectacular toppings? Sign me the fuck up.

I'm an unabashed McDonald's fan, and have been since I was a kid. Admit it, you like Mickey D's too. Everyone loves to say how unhealthy it is and how the burgers taste like crap, but once you're in a McDonald's not even a vegetarian can resist temptation.

But my utter glee was shortlived, upon reading the fine print that so far McDonald's is only rolling the burgers out in Southern California. What the fuck? Isn't SoCal home to the most health-conscious hippies in all the land? Why on earth would they choose the west coast as the launching point for their giant, mouth-watering new burgers? Unacceptable.

Fortunately, initial reports have the new burgers selling like hot cakes, so continue to eat up, SoCal. New Yorkers need the Angus Third Pounder ASAP.