Side effects may include the most unrealistic scenario ever

One of my biggest pet peeves are prescription drug commercials. It's unclear why these companies even waste their time on advertising, considering they always advise you to "see their ad" in whatever lame publication took their money, and not only do they never directly tell you what their product actually does, but they provide laundry lists of side effects that can occur should you take their miracle drug.

Wow, Cialis is great! I'm so glad I can fuck my wife again, and the only things I have to worry about are a potential four-hour erection, nausea, cramping, backaches, diphtheria, lice, bee stings, diaper rash, forced viewings of the Sarah Silverman Program, gonorrhea, herpes, traffic at the Holland Tunnel, rabies, skin cancer, sobriety, blindness and leprecy!

But perhaps the most irritating facet of these inane advertisements are the montages of "fun" all these ailing individuals are able to have, erectile dysfunction/genital herpes/rickets be damned. By all means, don't let the fact that you have hemorrhoids get in the way of your love of mountain biking. Just because you have to urinate every three seconds doesn't mean you can't participate in wakeboarding, skydiving, seppuku and bonfires! Hell, if people with diseases are having that much more fun than us "normal" folk, I might just be inclined to go out and catch an incurable affliction myself.

The best example by far of supposed "fun" is in Cialis' latest ad, showing a middle-aged couple hanging out around a bunch of rocks. At the very end of their outdoor spelunking expedition, the duo is shown sipping coffee and holding hands in separate clawfoot bathtubs out in the middle of nowhere.

Granted, that looks relaxing as hell, but I'd love a taste of the crack the folks in charge of this marketing campaign are smoking. If your marriage is in such a state of disarray that you feel the need to purchase matching bathtubs and subsequently haul both plumbing fixtures and presumably many gallons of water out to some secluded glen to appease your wife, I'd say erectile dysfunction is the least of your worries.