The day the chinese food died

It is with great sadness that I report the untimely demise of the greatest Chinese restaurant in history. Yes friends, it appears that Tang Tang, that bastion of all that is true and good about Chinese food, appears to have bitten the dust.

Now you may be thinking to yourself "Chinese food is a dime-a-dozen. What the fuck does it matter?" Well it matters. A LOT. Ask anyone who has ever had the pleasure of eating at the holy grail of beef with broccoli, and they'll all tell you the same thing: You haven't eaten Chinese food until you've had Tang Tang. In fact, while no one's been able to verify it, many a satisfied Tang Tang patron has left their dining experience convinced the brown sauce contains crack cocaine.

The rumors first began flying yesterday when my mom confirmed that she had passed by the restaurant on Saturday night - situated ever-so-perfectly on 3rd Avenue and 20th Street - and downtroddenly reported that the tables and chairs had vanished with nary a soul to be found inside.

I immediately set to work and called Tang Tang (obviously programmed in my phone). It rang several more times than usual, but eventually a female voice answered "Tang Tang may I help you?"

Relief coursed through my veins like a hit of Sweet Lady H. Though I hung up as I wasn't looking for a delivery at the present moment, I called back shortly thereafter to place my weekly Sunday night order. Once again the phone rang for longer than usual, but my fears were allayed as a friendly female voice picked up and I delineated what I wanted.

In the past Tang Tang has been one of the speediest delivery places ever, generally arriving within 10 to 15 minutes of my call. After 20 minutes I became concerned, and by the time 35 minutes passed and I still hadn't received my order I was downright apoplectic.

The delivery finally showed up and once the guy handed over my food all my worst fears were confirmed: the menu stapled to the bag was not only a completely different restaurant name, but a different address altogether.

I had been hoping that maybe Tang Tang was either performing some bizarre cleaning ritual Saturday night - hence the lack of furniture - and were back in business by Sunday. But it appears that whatever happened, this new restaurant has taken over Tang Tang's business, what with my call being redirected to their line and all.

The new place's food was alright, but NOTHING like Tang Tang's.

This senseless closing is even more perplexing considering that it couldn't have been hurting for business - given its proximity to the Police Academy on 20th Street, the place was practically standing-room-only during lunchtime on a daily basis.

I can only hope that this customer abandonment is temporary, especially since Tang Tang has pulled stunts like this in the past - when I first discovered it several years ago, it went by the name "Tang Tang," only to briefly close down and reopen as the singular "Tang." Later on it eventually changed its name back to "Tang Tang." So I'm crossing my fingers in the hopes that Tang Tang will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes once again; perhaps even tripling itself. "Tang Tang Tang" - that sounds like the kind of Chinese restaurant I could get behind.

But for the time being, anyone have any Chinese places they absolutely love in the Stuy Town/East Village area? I'm gonna need to get my fix somewhere.