East Side Story
Not only am I a lifelong Manhattanite, but I've spent my entire 25 years residing on the east side of the island. It occured to me the other day that I could conceivably go weeks, if not months, without traversing west of 5th Avenue.Why? Because what the fuck does the west side have to offer to anyone? There's no bar scene to speak of (if you try to counter with "But what about the Meatpacking District?" I will not hesitate to exile you to Jersey City, Boston, Philly or some other sub-par East coast hamlet), no sex scene and nothing to do. For the twentysomethings in the audience, think about this for a quick second: Do you even know anyone who lives on the west side? I've got a handful of west-side residing friends but that's mostly due to pomp and circumstance, and the east siders far outnumber their unfortunately-domiciled counterparts.
The west side has long been the black sheep of New York City neighborhoods; occasionally invited to the cursory Thanksgiving dinner, and only then so its relatives can take glee in its peril and misfortune. Let's go segment by segment and see if we can uncover any worthwhile reasons to live in Manhattan's ugly redheaded stepchild.
Battery Park City
- Approximately 80,000 new residential buildings have been constructed in the past decade, but all the water in the Hudson River isn't gonna change the fact that there ain't shit to do down here unless you like huge ugly multiplexes.
- Biddie Earlie's and the Orange Bear almost make New York Dolls seem tolerable.
- The mostly unnecessary construction of the Freedom Tower - and its starting to look like the Second Avenue subway might be completed, up and running before this monstrosity ever sees the light of day.
TriBeCa
- Capitalizing two letters in the middle of your neighborhood's name just looks stupid.
- You know you've hit rock bottom when your sole attraction is access to New Jersey.
West Village
- This is an admittedly beautiful area of Manhattan and I'm having trouble disparaging it with a straight face. However, the Village west of Sixth Avenue remains the one segment of the City where even my native self can easily get lost.
Meatpacking District
- Um, no.
Chelsea
- Residentially, it's aesthetically pleasing, but there's really no reason to go here unless you love expensive, awful lounges that close down and change names every nine months.
Midtown West
- I would not shed any tears if I managed to avoid setting foot in Times Square for the duration of my existence.
- Sorry, but calling any part of this area Hell's Kitchen at this point would be an insult. The neighborhood sure ain't doing itself any favors by trying to out high-rise the Upper East.
Upper West Side
- More mid- to upper-class families than you can shake a private school tuition at.
- You could finish a Saturday Times crossword faster than the time it takes to perambulate Avenues up here.
- Central Park West ain't got shit on the disgustingly wealthy denizens of Fifth Avenue.
- Baby's First Bar™:They may as well hand you a freaking Solo cup upon entering any of the drinking establishments along Amsterdam Avenue in the 80s.
Morningside Heights
- Columbia students. 'Nuff said.
Upper East Side
- "What is the Upper East Side doing on a list of west side neighborhoods?" you may be asking yourself. Those of us who have actually done time up there know this depressing little wasteland sucks harder than all of the aforementioned areas combined. Not even the Upper East Side wants to live on the Upper East Side.
posted by LA at 7:34 AM
60 Comments:
You know how people used to knock on Friends because they didn't have black characters? I always thought that criticism was unfair, because there really aren't black people living in the Village.
The whiteness of the cast was about the only thing that was authentic about that show.
Washington Heights/Ft. Tryon park is nice. a 2-hour train ride from downtown, but nice.
I lived in Washington Heights for a year and found it "nice" if by nice you mean loud and dirty. Not that all of Manhattan isn't loud and dirty though.
Morningside Heights, where I work, is overrun with Columbia students indeed. Like all college students, highly irritating.
Another reason to add to the list of reasons one might go to Chelsea is: you're gay.
I'm embarassed to say that for the first six years I lived here, I'd take a cab from 6th Ave/West 4th to Chumleys on Barrow/Bedford. I used to think this was the Bermuda Triangle of Manhattan.
I just started working on the border of Soho and DEEP DEEP West Village a few weeks ago and am proud to say I've learned to navigate many of the little back allys of the W. Village. I'd now be able to get to Chumley's for a Heather's Honey or Bitter Bulldog blindfolded.
That said, get me above Christopher Street and I'm fucked.
Looks like someone hates their Dad too much.
Stay in the overrated East Village you hipster dufus.
I'd rather do a body shot out of a Chelsea Boy's asscrack then set foot anywhere near Murray Hill.
Then again, I like manly asscrack bodyshots, so that's not saying much I guess.
So Z. and I discovered a week or so ago that not only do we work in the same building, but on the same floor and for the same company.
I've been working in the West Village pretty much my whole career (a whopping 7 years) and yes, we have to print out maps before we leave the building, but you can't really rag on it. It's gorgeous, there are lots of cheap dive bars, and SoHo shopping is but two avenues away. Ok, so you probably don't care about the last one.
Of course, I don't really know anyone who lives here either.
Larry: I despise this post. You're doing our beloved borough no favors by trashing its many excellent neighborhoods. The lower east side is cool, and of course you're going to stand up for where you live, but there's no need to diminish the rest of the island while you're at it. Where's the love? Even the worst parts of Manhattan are some of the most desireable places in the world to live. I'm also afraid that if you think 14th and 1st is what makes New York so great, you still have a lot to learn!!!
I'm with daveohyeah, I'm a WEST COASTER and would give anything to live in NYC, anywhere. Stop your in-fighting already.
West what? West Si...de? Never heard of it.
While I've only lived in the city for three years, I've never gone north of 59th Street on the West Side. And I work at 54th Street.
U-E-S! U-E-S! U-E-S!
Okay, I'm just kidding. It sucks. It's quiet... but/and it's too goddamn far away.
I actually think the West village is easy to navigate- but that's after a year of traversing there when I worked at ralph lauren. I enjoy that hood. That's my only accomplishment in New York -to date.
I was totally with you until you got to the UES. Come on!
Actually, whatever, I get it. But yeah, Murray Hill and Midtown East definitely deserve to be thrown in with the other undesirable areas. Hello, Sutton Place? McFaddens? Worst. Places. Ever.
Come the revolution, there will be machine-guns blazing on the Upper East Side.
And high time, too.
Did you lose the Esplanade and Chelsea Piers, or just forget to visit them? Saying that ANY Manhattan nabe is subpar is really missing the point of living here in the first place. Your post reads like the kind of thing written by a boogersnot named Heather from Westerburg, OH: Ooooh, I live in Wheatfield Acres in a designer splanch and I never go outside of it because everywhere else is icky and I got you into a Remington party and I got paid in puke."
Spare us.
The serene Hudson River park is part of what keeps me away from the East side. For a runner, it's far superior to the sorry East River paths.
I think it would make sense to touch on the flipside argument, i.e., what it is about the East side neighborhoods that are so appealing as to merit this post.
Really, all neighborhoods have their alure. And I certainly wouldn't brag about never leaving my awesome apartment/neighborhood/city, etc.
ah, allure.
Never west of 5th, huh?
::singsong:: I know where you were-er at lu-unchtiiime!
bwah ha ha ha ha!!!
Ms. R - Excellent point; I'll probably write a love letter to the East Side in a follow-up post.
I couldn't live anywhere with only one subway line, sorry.
Luckily, I've only had to go east of Central Park West twice this year.
I have to start wondering which is worse: New york Snobberey or Orange County Snobberey. It is damn close.
people live in manhattan? what are they, retarded?
I was an UWSider for a year and a half...the worst ever. EVER. Still don't know what was inmy neighborhood becuase I went directly from my front door and into a cab downtown/east.
HOWEVER...the UES (below 80th) is so much cleaner, quieter and convenient...and at least there are good looking people/less children up there.
And Murray Hill is pretty much on par with Hell's Kitchen and Times Square as the equivalent of having a pap and root canal at the same time.
And the 2006 Blogghorhea Bait Award goes to....
I'm relegated to whatever Daily Candy says you should do in NYC since I'm at the mercy of my lawyer pal when I come to the Apple. Is usually one step above seeing the big piano from "Big" at FAO Schwartz.
Larry...what kind of name is Larry. What Kind of assclown would name their kid Larry. Larry sounds like a 50 year old shoe salesman. Larry..ha.
I love how people think it's a badge of honor to brag "I've never been above 59th Street." As though their disposition to never try anything new or explore new areas makes them superior to everyone else. I wouldn't want to live in every neighborhood of this city but I wouldn't want any of them (well, most of them, at least) not to be here.
I've lived on the East side for six years. We have one crowded subway line (albeit the nice, shiny, new computerized subway cars) and three disconnected running paths, one of which, in Carl Shurz Park, is kind of falling apart. We also have a 24-hour bar crawl, just like on Amsterdam Ave, but ours is called "Yorkville." Honestly, this debate should be Uptown vs. Downtown. Downtown would win. PS, Heathers rules. ES-KI-MO.
I think life below 14th street and above 59th is worth living.
Spinachdip, EvilDiscussor and the anonymous commenter above me are really the only two people that made any sense here today, including but not limited to the original poster.
Choosing StuyTown or Peter Cooper or wherever you the devil it is you live over the Village is like choosing death over cake (too obscure a reference?).
Look at me! I'm so cool. I never leave the East Side so I miss out on other vibrant areas of New York City. I don't go see culture and arts on the West Side. I don't try new things on the West Side. I just sit here and mentally masturbate on the East Side. Suck it, rest of the city.
Oh man... nothing in the world beats the East Side with wonderful exciting "Hospital Row" or the entire Upper East Side, where if you live east of 2nd avenue, you might as well just fucking live in Jersey... your distance to the NYC Subwayt would be shorter.
Don't forget the wonderful east village, with fake hipster bankers who just LOVE living on 7th and Avenue C and walking 20 minutes to the nearest train.
And please... Times Square has NOTHING on the Seaport, another "awesome" East Side attraction.
Oh man, and how can we forget the hippest place in the world, Murray Hill. You know your neighborhood is rocking when the two best attractions are a Borders and Loews movie theater.
Hmm... let's see what else is awesome about the east side (aside from wonderful transportation on the greatest most least crowded subway in NYC, the 4-5-6)...
The east side! Sign me up!
I've lived in Manhattan for a total of 11+ years, including 6 in Hell's Kitchen, 1 on the UES, 2 in the West Village and 2 in the Seaport. I have friends on the UWS and in the Village. I went to college here, and have worked in several other neighborhoods. I've probably walked thru every Manhattan neighborhood, from Washington Heighton to Battery Park, and still struggle with wanting to live in each, each time I visit in that neighborhood. Manhattan is beautiful, and grows more so each day.
I agree with DaveOhYeah. Look around the world, especially right now. We live in the best place on earth, and I challenge anyone to try to prove otherwise.
I loathe Rockefeller Centre. These toursists just stand there in the middle of everything, staring at their stupid map. Nothing pisses me off more than stationary tourists. Ok, tourists in general. Fuck those fuckers.
For those who don't live in Manhattan, this post really rings true, not so much that the West Side is lame, but more in the attitude that people who live on the island have to people who live on the other side of 5th Avenue.
I live on the East Side; once when I visited friends in the Garment District, there response when I asked for directions to their place and they found out where I lived was "so you live on the other side of the universe".
It seems strange, but public transit in Manhattan is designed to funnel everyone downtown. There are few cross town subways. Changing to one often involves Times Square, which for native New Yorkers is a nightmare.
That said, the big dividing line in Manhattan is 96th Street. South of that, its something like 95% white and all upper class or upper middle class, except for a few housing projects in Chelsea and along the East River. North of that, where almost half the population of Manhattan lives, is mostly brown and black and working class.
I will even defend the Upper East Side on the grounds that the rents have risen so much, the entire island south of 96th Street is pretty much like the Upper East Side. Certainly the bar scene is heading that way. You go into some dive on Avenue B now and you see the same privileged frat types you get on 1st Ave and 2nd Ave. In fact, the bars and the restaurants in the Upper East Side proper have gotten a little more relaxed now that the most obnoxious of the people who used to hang out there have taken over downtown.
And one thing about the West Side, it has Times Square and the Meatpacking District. Nothing anywhere on the East Side is as bad as that. The neighborhoods north and south have good and bad points, and are even beautiful in places, but they don't make up for the horribleness of those two places.
I've only lived here about a year and a half, but in my short stint I have learned one very important thing. Well, I've learned more than one thing, but this stands out. The further West you live, the closer you are to Jersey. The thought alone makes me want to break out into hives. I can't imagine actually seeing that Godforsaken place everytime I leave my apartment.
Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush! (for ace cowboy)
larry - I got issues, man.
#1 - why does the redhead have to be ugly AND a stepchild? Sheesh.
#2 - I'm sure it somehow slipped your mind, but you forgot the UUWS - west Harlem, baby!!
Don't bother leaving a real reply. This site has a basic premise: predictable misanthropy and boring hostility. He writes well enough but once you read a week of posts you've seen them all. Essentially, "Everybody sucks and I rule." Today it's neighborhoods. Tomorrow it'll be about how only losers wear jeans or shoes.
Disagreeing with him will only lead to more victimization and aggression, punctuated by lame bragging about blogging prowess. (Well done, dude, other shut-ins have blogs and link to yours.) I'm pretty sure that this site is not sincere. It's just a bored guy trying to channel Lewis Black.
It does serve its purpose, though. No matter how shitty your mood, it reminds you that things could be worse.
As a lifelong new yorker, also, perhaps I can shed some light on this: Move west, start paying your own rent. The two usually go hand-in-hand.
I love the Upper Westside precisely because I don't need to elbow my way through a pile of concentration-camp-chic superficial manchildren and like, like, like really cool people who block the sidewalks with thier non-asses. The East Side is so LA now it hurts. Go home and read your copy of Vice on the shitter and quit posting this bs.
Wow - I didn't realize so many people could think they were better than others because of their address. I guess if you don't have anything else to define your selfworth, an address will do...
East Side... West Side? Feh. Brooklyn is where it's at. Who, other than bankers and trustifarians can afford to live in Manhattan these days anyway? Take it from a native, you carpet bagging Midwesterners.
Okay, I'm a West Sider. But it is so much better than the East Side. Why?
Okay, Morningside Heights (where I currently live, I guess)... yeah, a lot of Columbia students but they all live south of 115th street with the exception of 3 dorms, one of which is tiny. And few travel north of 120th. Live in the 120s (south of 125th) and its full of small but awesome neighborhood restaurants, parks, and relatively affordable rents. And, Amsterdam is close to the D train on 125th & St. Nicholas (quick to midtown!), M-side park, decent shopping on 125th, etc. Talk about a liveable neighborhood. Also, the area between the UWS and Morningside Heights (low 100s) has not-too-Columbian bars/restaurants.
UWS - Okay, not too fun but still people *live* there.
Washington Heights/Inwood - full of families and people who aren't trust fund babies and hard working recent grads... perhaps not an easy commute but still has plenty of its own merits
Hell's Kitchen - fun, plenty of cheap eats
TriBeCa/Battery Park City - okay, they're not great and crazy expensive
W. Vill - I don't like it
Chelsea - can you say Chelsea Market? Flower district? Flea markets?
So I'm definitely more of an uptown person but still... the entire West Side is totally superior over the East Side with:
- Seaport: tourist central, other than Times Square
- Financial District: what the world needs less of - douchy bankers
- Chinatown: smells like crap 24/7
- Little Italy: does anyone actually live there?
- LES: the only saving grace of the east side (bc of the old school jewish stuff) but sadly has been yuppified... see the forward building
- SoHo: where you can pay $3000 a month for a studio where you'll be harrassed by street peddlers and dudes handing out liquidation sale flyers
- E. Vill: my arch nemesis. trust fund babies with mohawks who think they're so anti-government anti-conformist but actually spend hours getting their mohawk to stand up so high and are paying ridiculous amounts for crappy apartments... oh wait, their parents are paying that.
- Murray Hill/Stuy Town/Peter Cooper Village: where those columbians who you despise so much live after graduating and selling their soul to the devil. oh wait, they're not *really* there, they're slaving away down in the fin. district
- Union Square/Flatiron/Gramercy - Yuppies posing as artistes
- Turtle Bay/Tudor City - void
- Upper East Side - see Murray Hill but add some old-money families living in the posher places
yeah... the East Side blows.
Seems that most of these posters are a bunch of Generation Y newcomers who think that having moved out of Mom's gives them the right to belittle formerly wonderful neighborhoods that their ilk have ruined by paying high rents and high booze prices in their pitiful quest to demonstrate their 'independence' and identity.
Most of you are progeny of parents who eventually moved to the suburbs or out west in order to raise self-centered brats like you.
Now you are coming back to the city your folks had abandoned in order to discover yourself, only to return to the same small towns and cities from whence you came.
Enjoy your time here, but, please, don't criticize anyone else's neighborhood or who ruins it. Let those without sin be the first to cast the stone.
And when you leave, don't forget to close the door.
UWS - Married/Babies
Chelsea - Gays
Meatpacking - Whores
UES - Rich Bitches
Murray Hill - Frat Boys
East Village/LES rocks - Sex, Drugs, and friendly bathrooms.
The truth is that you all come to us, the East Village/LES, to have fun. If you love the West Side, then stay there!
I don't see a problem with living a peaceful existence on the West Side and raising hell every weekend in the LES...isn't that the point of living in NY, so you can have access to as many different neighborhood vibes as you can possibly imagine?
...and this is why I moved to Seattle.
We should all be happy we can afford to live anywhere this amazing city that offers so many amazinly diverse and shitty neighborhoods!
There's nothing wrong with the UWS being a family neighborhood. Obviously it's much better to grow up in the city than outside it, and people have to raise kids somewhere.
Plus the grocery stores are good, for people strong enough to cook.
Ok this guy is a fucking retard and defently knows nuthing about the city. First of all TiBeCa is spell like that because i the bolded letters stand 4 triangle below canal. Second of all there is a tone stuff 2 do in the upper east side. This guy is a fuckin retard on the run and should probaly comit suiside.
You who dare to criticize the West Side are all uncultured visigoths.
The West Side has Lincoln Center! That right there is worth three LES's.
This story is a hoax.
I totally agree with New York punk and joshowitz! All of Manhattan island is a "cultural Pandora's Box" of things to do and see !
i am literally from the upper west side and i'm very cool.
you're just a douchebag.
You people are so childish. I don't understand how you can hold down the jobs that allow you to live in Manhattan and then reveal yourself for some inbred provincial morons who can't see beyond the confines of your own tiny neighborhoods, let alone this SMALL ISLAND OF MANHATTAN! I live on York Avenue in the east 60s, and SO WHAT my walk to the subway is four blocks. I can easily walk to eight avenue and back but you people make four blocks seem like a trip to Calcutta. You people are so fucking lazy.
The Orange Bear closed. Months ago.
This NYC native cannot help but notice that the people who criticize the outer boroughs and working class sections of Manhattan usually come from some bullshit square state.
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