BREAKING NEWS: New Yorker has blog

NEW YORK, NY - In a startling turn of events, New Yorker Caitlin Crowley recently revealed that she has a blog.

Undeterred by the fact that there are more than 2.5 blogs per person originating out of the five boroughs, Crowley, who blogs at caitlinscrumbs.blogspot.com, feels her work is unique and highly worthy of your job-loathing attention span.

"As a 23-year-old recent college graduate living in Manhattan, I just feel like there are so many interesting things that happen to me on a daily basis that are worth sharing with complete strangers," Crowley said. "Like the time that homeless guy exposed himself to me on the 4 train - gross!"

Some of Crowley's favorite posts include "Why there are no datable men in New York City," and "Do you seriously think I'm going to go out with you because you sent me a message on Friendster?"

She says she intially kept the blog a secret from friends and family, but after one of her nosier co-workers randomly Googled Crowley's name, the jig was up.

"At first I was horrified because of all the disparaging things I've written about the people I work with," Crowley said. "But pretty soon everyone in my office became addicted to my blog and now they all tell me I'm talented enough to be the next Stephanie Klein!"

When asked what her impetus was behind starting her blog, she revealed that there are several New York-based bloggers whom she idolizes.

"Well I'm kind of embarassed to admit this, but even though he sounds like such an asshole I think Larry from This Is What We Do Now is hilarious," she said. "I'm also obsessed with Dan from The Daily Dump and secretly wish that I was 'The Girlfriend.'"

Crowley was coy when asked why she, as a reasonably attractive girl, was still single despite living in a city of over 8 million people.

"I just haven't found any guys who can keep up with me," she lamented. "The thing a lot of people don't realize about me is how humble I am. I'm exceptionally bright and funny, and I think I intimidate a lot of the men I date. Also, even though the last guy I dated was really hot, he was also way broke and occasionally asked me to pay for dinner, so that certainly wasn't gonna fly. But I don't have high standards or anything."

Crowley's success in the blog world is evidenced by her attendance at a recent drinking gathering of the NYC blogging elite.

"It was incredible meeting all these people in person! When you read someone every day, you practically feel like you already know them, and it was amazing to be able to put faces to names!" she gushed. "Additionally, they're all such wonderful people! TAN was a total gentleman, Heather was outrageously sweet and for some reason made me feel like purchasing a kangaroo, and Suki from Spinach Dip was effusively verbose."

When asked whether she had become entangled in the sordid world of NYC blogger hook-ups, she turned bright red.

"TIWWDN Larry was wasted and kept trying to hit on me, so I finally made out with him just so he would shut the fuck up," Crowley recounted. "Believe it or not he's actually pretty cute, but good Christ is he an egomaniac."

Though Crowley enjoyed spending time with the desperate for-attention cadre of New York bloggers her newfound friends, she has her sights set on bigger and better things.

"My latest post is a hilarious reenactment of lame things guys in the city do when they're trying to fuck you, featuring an amorous late-night ride in a taxi, gorging ourselves on pizza at Rosario's on Orchard and ultimately staying up until well past sunrise due to the fact that we were coked out of our gourds," Crowley said. "If this doesn't finally get me a Blogorrhea link on Gawker, I'll eat my keyboard."