To D.C. with love
So my buddy Dave has once again elected to move out of NYC, this time to the supposed greener political pastures of Washington, D.C. I can't even begin to tell you how upset this decision makes me, so I thought I'd do a little city by city comparison to show Dave how much D.C. sucks ass.- He'll be trading Gawker for Wonkette (Gawker's clearly the victor here).
- He'll be trading Murray Hill whores for Capitol Hill whores (this one may be a toss-up).
- He'll be trading a town that Boston orally services every day of its miserable life to the only town on the East Coast that can actually make Boston feel good about itself.
- He'll be losing two hours of nightly drinking time (last call at 2 a.m. is for pussies).
- He'll be trading a mayor who worships money for one who's addicted to cocaine (this may or not be true, but I can only assume Marion Barry's influence is pretty far-reaching - after all, the man was put back in office despite getting caught on video smoking a crack pipe).
- He'll be trading struggling bartenders sucking dick for acting gigs for struggling interns sucking dick just for the sake of it.
- He'll be trading a beautiful, orderly street grid for an uninspired clusterfuck of avenues named for states. (Hell, even the retard currently occupying the Oval Office could've come up with something more creative than "Connecticut Avenue").
- He'll be trading the subway for the Metro (actually, given my love of the New York City transit system, D.C. probably wins this battle).
- And most frustratingly, he'll be trading the greatest city in the world for a ghetto whose sole redeeming qualities are a couple of presidential monuments and Georgetown, and only continues to attract wide-eyed, bushy-tailed political aspirants due to the city's having been built on a healthy foundation of lies, immorality and corruption.
Do what you gotta do buddy, but try not to stay too long. NYC already wants you back.
posted by LA at 7:56 AM
30 Comments:
FYI, Anthony Williams is the Mayor of Washington DC. Barry is on the City Council, though.
I know Barry hasn't been mayor in years, but it just wouldn't be a post about DC without some sort of mayoral crack reference.
Este blog es lo menos peor que he visto en la web últimamente. Escribo en castellano porque me sale. Agur, b*tches.
Last call in DC is 3am you cockpiece moron.
give the guy some credit. of the two political aspirants we went to high school with, at least this one is doing something about his dreams. the other - and i won't name names here - last time i checked, was passed out on the kitchen floor of his own party. magic tricks my ass. hey dickhead, maybe you can make your fucking career reappear, since you seem to have flushed it down the toilet. but i digress. hey lar, sweet blog man.
Anon, where the fuck are you drinking? Your parents' basement doesn't count as a bar. All the bars that I've ever been to in DC close at 2, only proving to me that moving out of that social wasteland was a good decision.
I live in DC. Few things: 1)Aside from interns there are very few cap hill whores. Georgetown and Adams Morgan, however, are amazing meat markets. 2) Bar time in this town is, without question, 2:00. 3) Say what you will about DC but Metro does kick the hell out of your subway. 4) We have Dan's Cafe, one of the most amazing dive bars I have ever been in. Possibly even higher on my list of great dive bars than Doc Holidays in NY.
DC isn't NY, but it's not a horrible town.
DC is at the very least WAY better than boston.
apples and oranges, once again. huge city versus a medium sized city...it's just a dumb comparison. i've lived in both, and i love them both for totally different reasons. but let's get this straight once and for all. dc bars close at 3. "last call" may occur at 2, 2:30 or 2:59 depending on the establishment.
(1) Bars definitely close at 3am in DC. They close at 2am in Virginia. (2) The fact that you cite Georgetown as one of DC's redeeming qualities demonstrates your minimal knowledge of DC. I can't think of a worse place to hang out in the city. I bet you frequent Smith Point.
New York is better than DC, but your review was pretty weak. I'm guessing that you don't actually know much at all about the city
Right on Ohio...that was my point with the Co-op City comment. I'm certainly not saying it's the best fucking place in the world...but considering you've more than likely never been there and your only trip to the bronx is when you hop the 4 to Yankee Stadium, you should really shut your pothole or do the research. It just comes off as ignorant and blatently obvious that you're just spouting off whatever pre-conceived notions you have about the Bronx as a whole.
Bars close at 2am in DC EXCEPT on Friday and Saturday nights, when they close at 3.
Larry, you would love Dan's cafe.
the push goes to nyc for transportation ... only out of town losers take the metro anywhere but work. drive on!
A 2 am closing time is ideal. Girls have a little buzz by 2 am but still have energy left to venture back to my "afterparty".
You obviously have no idea the splendor that is DC living. And I am not going to tell you because, frankly the less people know, the more we here in the District can appreciate them without NY snobs crashing our party.
Um, I'm pretty sure that Baltimore can make Boston feel good about itself, too. Hell, Philadelphia, too.
Who the fuck cares what time the bars close - 2, 3 the point is made. And what the hell is a "cockpiece moron" and what kind of person uses such an idiot term?
How bout of yas shuttin the fuck up!
you bore me. you bitch way to much to be a man.men who bitch should be gay and old, i'm assuming you are neither?
entertain me, I'm bored.
pgg! You were missed. From my understanding, he is bi-curious and far too young to know better. YOU entertain us!
Also, is there a city New York isn't better than? This is like comparing the U.S. to Canada-- which I love-- it's just not really fair.
Aww-dave-good luck in DC.
Thanks Liz. I will send a postcard to all TIWWDN fans from the dark southern capitol city.
At least he isn't moving to Cheesequake New Jersey...Or maybe that would be better than D.C.
Discovered the blog, enjoyed it and was somewhat attracted to you, then discovered the photos of you bartending...
REALLY unattractive.
Oh well...
which photos, where are they?
Having lived in all three East Coast cities mentioned here (which is more than Larry can say for himself, but then again, that's the appeal of his blog) I rank them as follows:
New York
DC
Boston
New York wins primarily because of the public transit system and 24 hour food delivery.
DC is GORGEOUS. If you haven't lived there, you really wouldn't understand. Larry, I don't expect you to think anything is prettier then Central Park, but then again, you're the biggest NY snob I've ever come into any kind of contact with. It's almost scary even as I find myself extremely entertained. Twisted cycle....
Boston's not bad....it's just BOSTON. Nice to visit (or go to college in) but I could never consider living there again. Too much snow, too many townies.... Give me DC any day over Boston. Cherry blossoms, gorgeous buildings, history, monuments, FREE MUSEUMS.... Hey, I may have a NY license now, but I was born and bred a Washingtonian ;)
I lived in the DC area for 3 years. (NoVA, so it doesn't really count.) But- every time I thought I'd had it with the cesspool that is DC, I would drive on the George Washington Parkway at dusk...the monuments are lit up, and at one point, you can look to one side and see the Lincoln Memorial at the end of Memorial Bridge and look the other direction and at the top of the hill at Arlington Cemetery, you can just pick out the flicker of the flame at JFK's gravesite. It's cool. And there's only one city in the world where you can do that. And that's why I was there for 3 years.
PLUS....The DC area has the Austin Grill(s)... Excellent Tex-Mex food, with margaritas called "Swirlies." Love 'em!
I've lived in both. Basically, NYC has better food and better mass transit. DC has great parks and bike trails. The NYC subway is much better - more cars per train, straphandles, more service, express trains, and covers a wider area of the city. This one's not even close. If your New York friend loves good pizza, diner's at 4 in the morning and Boars Head coldcuts ...then he's going to hate DC. Instead he'll be treated to cardboard pizza, Denny's and fatty tasteless deli meats - Dietz and Watson comes to mind. Boars Head lean coldcuts rule NYC and is tough to find in the DC area. Also, if you like good corned beef and good bread, stay in New York. You ain't finding it in DC.
Post a Comment
<< Home