You're an idiot for even having my number in your phone book

Is there any more satisfying feeling in the world than getting a call from someone you don’t particularly care about while out with a group of your friends and hitting the ignore button? What better way is there to feel good about yourself than totally snubbing someone you consider beneath you, and then whooping up said humiliation with your clique?

Occasionally if I’m feeling down about things I’ll trick an embarrassing acquaintance via Instant Messenger or e-mail into calling me solely so I can not pick up their call when they deign to harass me. Try it some time; it’s a far healthier way to increase your self esteem than all that blow.

Hearing your phone ring, checking the caller ID, rolling your eyes at the person who’s intruding upon your valuable time and clicking ignore has to be one of the greatest aphrodisiacs ever. After all, why actually use your cell phone for its primary purpose when you can disdainfully mock someone for even thinking about calling you?