You love me, you really love me

I'm not one to toot my own horn (or tell the truth for that matter), but I'd be doing both you and myself a disservice if I didn't share how elated I am right now - I realize this is small-time in the grand scheme o' things, but I've finally cracked the 1,000,000-most popular sites on Alexa. That's right, yours truly currently weighs in at 969,324! This is the highest TIWWDN has ever been, and it's all thanks to you, my fucking wonderful audience! Give yourselves a pat on the back, and keep coming back here and continue to spread the Gospel According to Lawrence to all who wish to be enlightened, and even those who think cognizance is for suckers.

To put things in perspective, it appears I even outrank two friends of mine who also happen to be published authors: Marty Beckerman and Ned Vizzini. It's obviously not fair to rank a daily-updated blog against an established writer's home page, but I'll take what I can get.