Hell, I'd be happy with a little red wagon that had all four wheels

A virus has spread amongst luxury car companies. We have been deluged over the last few Christmas seasons with absurd Lexus ads depicting insanely wealthy people bestowing Lexuses upon one another as X-Mas gifts. Excuse me, what? I'm sure there are some people who can afford to do this, but the majority of us earn less in a year than what most Lexuses cost.

Imagine working for an entire year, only to spend all that money on a car. You'd better get used to sleeping in it, because you certainly won't have money for rent, and I sure hope upholstery and brake pads taste damn good, because you ain't eating either.

Jaguar and BMW have also taken Lexus' cue and are airing commercials encouraging people to blow their load on one of their vehicles. The sap in me kinda likes the Jaguar commercials, which feature young couples feverishly making out after discovering their significant other bought them a Jaguar, if only because there's still a hopeless romantic buried somewhere beneath my jaded, bitter facade. A pair of BMW keys being dangled as if it were mistletoe is also somewhat clever, but it still doesn't change the fact that you'd be spending at least $35,000 on a Christmas present.

Even if you were able to afford such a lavish gift, don't you think that's setting the bar a bit high? No holiday could ever compare! You think those dozen roses and that expensive Valentine's Day dinner will placate her after she received a freaking luxury car for Christmas? Watch her throw away that Louis Vuitton bag you got her for Hannukah in disgust. What could you possibly get her that would top a car? "Happy birthday honey, here's a kilo of gold from Fort Knox!"

Yup, you buy that Lexus as a gift, you're pretty much screwed for life.